Well, in my experience with cancer the most extraordinary thing that’s happened to me was to get in touch with the strength I have… The strength I’ve found inside of me has been to research, face the unknown medically, try to understand the worst that can happen, get second opinions, push the doctors for information. You have to be so patient-active because the doctors are just too busy, they can’t keep track. And to use my creativity for my own medical well-being. Oh my god, when I discovered art therapy it was like – oh my god! The little kid in me is just so joyous when she gets her hands into fingerpaints or any kind of painting or art. My little kid just goes bonkers, I mean, you can’t stop me!
I guess I grew up kind of vain, I thought looking good was really, really important. And it is, but nobody’s rejected me when I was bald and looking my worst. Even when I was way overweight and all bloated from all the drugs and the cortisone and all that, nobody rejected me and I could still attract new friends. The important thing to remember is that people respond to you as you see yourself. If you forget how you look, and you’re animated and you’re in a crowd and you’re really enjoying yourself, people see the inner you that comes out. They don’t care how you look, it doesn’t matter. It’s how you project yourself that people are attracted to. I’ve learned that.
There’s these groups that… believe you create disease with your thoughts and your actions, and that if you can create it, you can un-create it… Well, there’s a lot the mind can do, but I don’t believe we create disease. I don’t believe I created the cancer… And that is the cruelest, cruelest, most disheartening discussion to have with a cancer patient.
If you were to ask me what if my cancer went into complete remission, what would I do – I haven’t a clue… I’m living much more in the present than I ever have… By the same token, I don’t nearly go back to my history, I don’t look back as much as I used to. I live really very much in the present. And I think it’s made me a happier person. And that’s been totally because of the cancer.
I’m hoping there’s a chance of coming back as a spirit, somehow, somewhere.
Because I think life can be a lot of fun.